I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
