Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
