you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
