you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
