i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize