Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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