I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
