Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
