ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize