the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Where is the hickey?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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