I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
