I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
