there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
