Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
