My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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