i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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