Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
