Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
