And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
