Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
