cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
