I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
