Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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