NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
