I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
