My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
