Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
