A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
