Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
