HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
