in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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