So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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