Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
