Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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