____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
