Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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