I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize