We won't sleep together?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
