Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
