Apparently you make a good broom.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
