I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
