Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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