You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
