I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Its about making memories worth repressing
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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