I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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