I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
