you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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