I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
