Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
