He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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