Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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