I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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