Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
