I am puke
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
