Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
