Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize