Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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