cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
