just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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