Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
