dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
