someone get that fucking seahorse.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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