I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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