Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
