he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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